(I know how to spell tigers... but that's how he says it)
Knuck Su Cow! Knuck Su Cow! (Ya'll know you like that shit)
So... no one's mad at me that I almost bought this at 7:00 AM, the day after Thanksgiving, right?
So apparently, my Mets met with Pedro Martinez on Thanksgiving a la Boston and Curt Schilling last year. While I think dude's arm is about to fall off and he has nothing left... it would be worth it to see Pedro and Mahow celebrating in Mets uni's.
If you're not watching Arrested Development yet, then you better recognize, damnit! Best thing they did was move it to 8:30, so it couldn't interfere with whatever good HBO show is on at 9:00. My favorite character is Dr. Tobias Fünke. Here's a clip. (G.O.B. is a very close second, btw)
Speaking of G.O.B., Will Arnett has also appeared in the Sopranos, and Amy Poehler is his wife in real-life. Strange how the world works.
In other news, Chris Rock is going to host this year's Academy Awards and you can be sure that you won't be hearing this at all. (One of my all-time favs)
So I can't believe the last time I posted was right before the "Ron Artest vs. All of Detroit" saga. I'm sure you guys have heard every detail about that shit.... but who else gives you Mr. Artest's rap debut, from Allure's "I Feel So" track.
Anyway... The biggest tragedy since 9/11 (Sorry if that offends anyone)
I've got 2 announcements to make.
1st: Holy shit.... I actually made Hot Karl's blog-link list. I know it's just courtesy becasue I linked him, but dude doesn't even know... I'm a fan.
2nd: Announcing a new link to the Fine Print library, KC a Jew. Dude's pretty funny if you ask me. Check it out...
Allright... it's been a slow week, being thanksgiving in all... so I'll be back soon, kiddies. Until then....
Keep it dirty,
DPJ
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
You Find Me Offensive, I Find You Offensive For Finding Me Offensive!
WHO'S BAD?
Before Flavor Flav, there was James Brown.
This man's named Count Smokula and he was actually on an episode of Blind Date last week. Of course... the lady thought he was nuts... but the comedy level was great. (Though nothing will ever top the 5th Wheel with the guy who sounded like Borat. If anyone's seen that one let me know. Everyone thinks I'm crazy.)
The highlight of my week was seeing this article. I guess being a Cobra - Kai isn't as hard-core as it used to be. (Sigh)
Can't Touch Me! (Just watch the Owl's reaction when he knocks over the trash-can.. I can't stop laughing)
A Ricky Williams sighting! He looks like a broke-ass Mr. T!
I hate the fact that I like "Rain Man" from Eminem right now. It has absolutely no point... but I love rappin this part. (Click for Audio)
"Dr. Dre... I got a question if I may
Is it gay to play putt-putt golf with a friend
And watch his butt butt when he tees off
But uh, I ain't done yet
In football the quarterback yells out hut hut
While he reaches in another grown man's ass
Grabs on his nuts but just what if
It was never meant, it was just an accident
But he tripped fell slipped and his penis went in
His teeny tiny little round hiney and he didn't mean it
But his little weenie flinched just a little bit
And I don't need to go into any more details but
What if he pictured it as a female's butt
Is that gay? I just need to clear things up"
I remember saying "Lean Back" had necrophilic acts performed on it. Well... one more time isn't that bad.
Hmmmm, why do I get the feeling that Dame Dash is gonna be a victim real soon?
Proof that Bush wants a draft.
Is there anything better than a misplaced Christopher Walken scene?
He told ya'll they went back like babies and pacifiers. You didn't believe?
God this bitch is stupid
I can't wait til "Half-Man, Half A Season" (Thanx Chuck) gets traded... Then maybe he'll play the rest of his days in obscurity.
On a side note: I mentioned Pee-Wee Herman last week, and dude was on Conan last night. See the influence I got?
And Finally... who else wants to see Blue Eagle on the shitter?
Before Flavor Flav, there was James Brown.
This man's named Count Smokula and he was actually on an episode of Blind Date last week. Of course... the lady thought he was nuts... but the comedy level was great. (Though nothing will ever top the 5th Wheel with the guy who sounded like Borat. If anyone's seen that one let me know. Everyone thinks I'm crazy.)
The highlight of my week was seeing this article. I guess being a Cobra - Kai isn't as hard-core as it used to be. (Sigh)
Can't Touch Me! (Just watch the Owl's reaction when he knocks over the trash-can.. I can't stop laughing)
A Ricky Williams sighting! He looks like a broke-ass Mr. T!
I hate the fact that I like "Rain Man" from Eminem right now. It has absolutely no point... but I love rappin this part. (Click for Audio)
"Dr. Dre... I got a question if I may
Is it gay to play putt-putt golf with a friend
And watch his butt butt when he tees off
But uh, I ain't done yet
In football the quarterback yells out hut hut
While he reaches in another grown man's ass
Grabs on his nuts but just what if
It was never meant, it was just an accident
But he tripped fell slipped and his penis went in
His teeny tiny little round hiney and he didn't mean it
But his little weenie flinched just a little bit
And I don't need to go into any more details but
What if he pictured it as a female's butt
Is that gay? I just need to clear things up"
I remember saying "Lean Back" had necrophilic acts performed on it. Well... one more time isn't that bad.
Hmmmm, why do I get the feeling that Dame Dash is gonna be a victim real soon?
Proof that Bush wants a draft.
Is there anything better than a misplaced Christopher Walken scene?
He told ya'll they went back like babies and pacifiers. You didn't believe?
God this bitch is stupid
I can't wait til "Half-Man, Half A Season" (Thanx Chuck) gets traded... Then maybe he'll play the rest of his days in obscurity.
On a side note: I mentioned Pee-Wee Herman last week, and dude was on Conan last night. See the influence I got?
And Finally... who else wants to see Blue Eagle on the shitter?
Sunday, November 14, 2004
My Video Binge...
RUFIO! (Dennis, any relation?) Muahahahaha
If you like boy bands or girl groups, you have bad taste in music (It's big so wait for it). (Damn I wish I had thought of that.)
Want to play the drums on your keyboard? Learn how now (I love how this guy counts. One, Two, Tree...)
I just really love this loser's peach fuzz... lol
Tara Reid's nipple slip and the horrible boob job she got. (That's Disgusting)
I think I want one...
Just for Jenny's Jenny
Speaking of Surreal Life, the next season's gonna suck! Here's the cast:
Adrianne Curry (formerly of America's Top Model)
Da Brat (formally of the Hip-Hop world)
Chyna Doll (formerly of Degeneration X... err I mean the WWE)
Some fag Model named Marcus Schenkenberg
Jane Wiedlin (formerly of the Go-Go's)
Christopher Knight (formerly known as Peter Brady)
and finally, Verne Troyer (formerly nothing...midgets always have a job in Hollywood!)
Now back to normal, non-video links:
Mekka lekka hi, mekka heiny ho! (Read to the end... 2 scripts! 2 scripts! Nice)
Damnit, I knew I should've gone to Syracuse
(Insert Evil Laugh Here) Ashlee Simpson's next single is the "I Like The Milky Sauce" song that I mentioned way back in my 2nd post. Nice!
I always knew there was a purpose to that mini-game in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan game for Gameboy. It was to have someone remake it years later as their own idea. (Play the new version... is that laugh annoying or what?)
One last shout out to Grammy-crasher himself, the Ol' Dirty.
And finally, here's a what a normal night with Blue Eagle and I looks like...(minus the suicide, of course)
Now get the hell out of my office. (Sorry, I couldn't resist)
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Damn... Another RIP
You taught me how to like it raw and you and Mariah went back like babies and pacifiers. Keep it real in the after-life, Old Dirty Doggy.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
It's Been A Long Time, We Shouldn't Have Left You... Left You Without A Dope Beat To Step To
Sorry for the delay. Between work, two tests, and election Tuesday... I had no time. That's where the two other fuckers are supposed to pick up the slack... but they've abandoned ship. What bitches. A lot happened this week, but I'm late on so much of it I don't have much new to say.
So by now, everyone should know about the R. Kelly/Jay-Z story. If you don't heres what happened. Jay-Z was jealous that R. Kelly was making more money on the project. R. Kelly was jealous that fans like Jay-Z more. So they started hating each other. They go on tour anyway, but now R. Kelly finds different excuses to miss some shows because the crowd isn't to his liking. Jay-Z gets pissed and says to get the fuck off the tour. R. Kelly doesn't... so then Jay's man decides to mase him. How Gangsta! (I'm roliing my eyes right now)
Now from one petty beef... to one ridiculously stupid beef.
Eminem vs Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
It all started way back at the 2002 MTV VMA's (Make sure its not pop-up blocked) Well in response... Triumph made a lil clip called 8 Nipples
So now Em has proved himself to be a lil bitchy about the thing.... with a whole song about Triumph in his new album Encore. It's entitled "Ass Like That". Here's A Verse (Yes... unfortunately the whole song is like that)
Moving on...
It's Time for name that tune! What can it be?
Why waste your time, dude? No way ANYONE believes that. MJ with a razor blade? Hahahahahahah!
Click this Link C'mon, do it... do it... do it.
People wonder why I like Veronica from Real World/Road Rules Challenge so much, even though she's a bitch. Well I have 3 reasons: Reason 1 Reason 2 Reason 3 (None safe for work)
So now that the Star Wars Episode III is out... I can't help but htink back to another great Triumph moment. (Now that's Comedy)
The Transexual Golfer.... WOW
So Bush Won, Kerry lost... Now what are you going to do?
Speaking of Bush... after seeing this picture on Pickin Boogers... I had to find this video.
Did you figure out that tune from before? If not... here it is, boi! (Wow... that whole name that tune thing is, by far, the gayest thing I've done on this site)
And for my final act.. let's watch two of the best news reports ever:
News Report #1
News Report #2
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