I've got Family in high places, like Jesus' Niece

All right people.... this is how it's gonna go. I'm Donkey Puncher J and I'm your host in this place we call the Fine Print. Why am I called Donkey Puncher J? Because punching a bitch after I'd done tearin up her ass, just to make it tighter, gives me pleasure. Why? Because I'm a friggin hater. And that's what this is all about.... hating on the things that have come across my view recently. If you don't like it.... you can get the fuck out.


So here's the my first entry covering this week from 08/01 - 08/06


I know I must sound like a bitch watching Big Brother 5... but the 4 horsemen got fucked big time. Scott is gone, and I'm sure they all wished they had voted out Adria instead of Holly. Wow... Jase is one confused individual, but the only entertaining dude left. They're all idiots though. If you have no clue what I'm talking about.... go here: Big Brother 5


I might get killed for this, but I have a sneaking suspicion Gigli is not a bad movie. I have to rent it to find out, but seriosuly... has anyone seen the damn thing? With all the Bennifer bashing that was going on, I think everyone decided to pull a Donkey Puncher J and hate for no reason. Here's the plot summary: Gigli
J-Lo as a lesbo? That's gotta be worth it... I'll have to let you know next week.


Kanye West is an asshole! Not because he's obviously let fame get to his head (watch the Punk'd episode he was on... what a bitch!) but because he performs his first single from his next album, pre-titled "Late Registration", at all his shows. He then tells you it won't come out for another year and a half. What a friggin cock teaser! Have a taste of cocktease here: Live in Amsterdam


So my boy Dave Chappelle just inked a $50 million deal with Comedy Central for two more years of Chappelle's show. They realize he only makes 13 shows a year right? He's funny as hell, but $50 mil? For 26 shows? Nigga needs to be on all year for that shit. Plus dude charges $125k per stand up appearance! "They shoulda never gave you niggas money!"


Whatever happened to that movie, Envy, with Ben Stiller and Jack Black? It came out and went away before you could blink. Looks like it went the route of Cable Guy according to these internet losers: IMDB
I guess we'll have to wait an find out. Speaking of which... Cable Guy is so much funnier now, I will never understand why Jim Carrey got so much shit for it.


Ownage of the Month: Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto! (1.8 MB)
It's a lil old... but it's Ownage nonetheless.


All right... that's all I got for now. Now go home and put some water in Buc Nasty's mama's bowl.